if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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