Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
