I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
