i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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