Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
