Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
