This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
