Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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