Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize