just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
