I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We had sex on a dog bed..
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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