Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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