Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
