youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
