just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
