took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize