But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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