my vag is so smooth its legendary
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
