Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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