She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
