You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I think I am morally bankrupt
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
