i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
