I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
