TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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