well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
