New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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