i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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