I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
