Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
