It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
