Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
