Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
