ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
they need to just BURY HIM!
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
