where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
