I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
