there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
