So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
