he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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