they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
