marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
The Olympian is in my bed
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
