whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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