Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
