i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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