You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
