Well douche your snatch and let's go!
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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