So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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