You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
