I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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