so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
