Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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