Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize