i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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