You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
