Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
