I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
