I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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