Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
