i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
