I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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