Three words: puerto rican gang bang
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Randomize
