worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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