so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
